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Talking About Cancer

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First post and replies | Last post by Thriving7, 6 months ago

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I waited a few weeks to share with my boss. I needed to know the path for treatment and I needed time to process what this meant. My boss and team were very supportive. My job allowed me some flexibility. During treatment I worked Monday-Wednesday, had chemo therapy on Thursday, rested on Friday and returned to work on Monday. Being at work provided me a distraction and helped to keep a routine.

By Thriving7 6 months ago

Leaning on Friends

First post and replies | Last post by Thriving7, 6 months ago

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When I shared with my sons they were very shocked, although supportive. At the time my youngest was in 5th grade and he was not quite sure what this meant, but he assumed the worst. One of his classmates dad took time to share with my son his mother was diagnosed with cancer when he was elementary school as well and she was still alive. My son was able to ask him questions and my son knew his mom. The conversation gave him so much peace and he was confident that everything would be just fine.

By Thriving7 6 months ago

I kept my cancer a secret, until it came back a 2nd time

First post and replies | Last post by cleo, 7 months ago

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Have a medical professional answer questions for your children

First post and replies | Last post by Gwoodhood, 7 months ago

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I was fortunate to have Dr. O'Dea (KU Oncology) offer to meet with my two children to discuss my diagnosis and answer any questions they may have. Understanding that they may have questions that are hard to ask me, I was grateful for this opportunity. My boys (age 14 and 18yrs) were reluctant at first but after the conversation really appreciated it. They met via Zoom.

By Gwoodhood 7 months ago

I shielded my husband

First post and replies | Last post by cleo, 7 months ago

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My husband cried every time he told someone about my cancer. He even cried at work when he told his coworkers. He can't stand it if I'm not OK so I shielded him not too different from the way I shielded my children. I'm not saying that this is the right thing to do, I am just saying that I did it. Sometimes I left the room if I felt like I was going to cry or I cried in the shower. When he would call from work to ask how I was doing, I would usually say "Fine!" I didn't want him distracted at work because that would not be good for anybody. I h...

By cleo 7 months ago

First post and replies | Last post by MindyLou, 7 months ago

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I found out on a Friday and first tried to protect my husband from learning about it before I could tell him that evening. He is a physician and I knew the mammogram report would be faxed to his office. I didn't want him to be distracted with his patients that day. Luckily for me, my whole immediate family was gathering for breakfast the next day. It was not easy to tell them but it was good, I think, to tell everyone at once. That Sunday, it was announced at church. I was very positive and felt like everything would be okay, as most pati...

By MindyLou 7 months ago

CaringBridge/husband

First post and replies | Last post by momoftwo, 7 months ago

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I was so emotional that I couldn't personally talk about it. In fact, since my diagnosis (DCIS - stage 0) was caught so early, I kept referring to it as "kinda like cancer." Since I had to have a double mastectomy, I changed my vocabulary fairly quickly! I asked my husband to relay the news to close friends and family, and then we set up a CaringBridge so he could communicate about my surgeries, updates, etc. It was nice to have it so people could send messages, and I didn't have to receive all of that personally. I read it when I was up for ...

By momoftwo 7 months ago

4th and 6th grade

First post and replies | Last post by CPN, 7 months ago

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I dreaded telling my kids, who were 11 (girl) and 9 (boy). I’d locked myself in my room for a couple of days, feigning sickness as I cried and processed the news. When I finally felt ready, my husband and I called them in to sit on the bed with me. We told them I had breast cancer and would be having surgery and possibly chemo and radiation and then gave them a minute of quiet. My daughter said nothing, but scooted closer and put her head on my shoulder. My son asked me if I would lose my hair 🙂. I told him if I had chemo, probably. He ...

By CPN 7 months ago

Be Honest With your Kids

First post and replies | Last post by CPN, 7 months ago

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Told right away

First post and replies | Last post by CPN, 7 months ago

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I told my boss right away, as my treatment would be starting with a bilateral mastectomy and I’d be missing a lot of work. I knew going in and talking to him in person would probably be best, but I was too emotional at the time so I emailed. He was incredibly supportive and helped connect me to the various people I needed to talk to (HR, etc) throughout the process. As for the staff (I work in education) at my school, I believe I had my principal email everyone and let them know. My kids also went to my school, so I felt it important for everyo...

By CPN 7 months ago

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