Reconstruction then Explant

I had a prophylactic nipple sparing double mastectomy with reconstruction and silicon implants in 2018. I too wanted to feel as normal as possible after the mastectomy. However, my body did not like implants. I started experiencing random shooting stabbing pains in my nipple area that was difficult to describe to my physicians. I also just began to feel fatigued and achy all the time which might have been just the stage of life that I was in. But the pain was just something I couldn't ignore especially since nothing was detected upon imaging. I decided to have an explant of my implants in April 2022. I no longer have the shooting pains which I am very thankful for and I have learned to accept my new shape with the help of personal coaching from Amanda Savage Brown, PH.D, LCSW and through her book "Busting Free..How to liberate yourself from the the quest for better breasts before, during, and long after explant" Highly recommend this book whether you're thinking flat closure or reconstruction. If you don't get coaching from Amanda, I highly recommend some kind of coaching or counseling. I wish I had done some type of counseling after my initial mastectomy. I thought that I didn't need it. I never realized how much grief I had shoved down until I was ready to explant. I am glad that I had my preventative mastectomy but most days I regret the implant decision.