No rhyme or reason
Sometimes I was open about my cancer and sometimes I wasn't, and I'm not sure why. For example, I went to a wedding right after my surgery and was seated with people I've known (although not closely) for probably 15 years. I felt underdressed because I was wearing the only dress I owned that could accommodate all my wrappings and I couldn't join in on the dance floor, but I did not say one word to explain why. Another example: I went for a walk too soon after a procedure and realized as my heart rate increased that I was bleeding through my bandage and onto my shirt. I ran into a neighbor and had a conversation with her without acknowledging the blood on my shirt that we both knew was there. But then I casually mentioned my cancer to a man who was repairing my shower....
Cancer tends to hijack conversations, so maybe that's why sometimes I didn't want to talk about it. It's hard for the other person to have their fair share in a conversation when you have cancer. They apologize if they complain about anything because it "doesn't compare to cancer."
I know how you feel. Sometimes during treatment I would run into someone I hadn’t seen in a very long time (like 6-12 months)…many would comment on my new hair style and usually I would end up telling them about my cancer because I never would have cut my hair so short if not for chemotherapy causing me to lose all my hair. Everyone was very kind and supportive when I told them.