Cancer Ghosting

I can't find where someone asked specifically about this.  I have had ones who really are overwhelmed when they get a cancer diagnosis.  Some don't want work to know because fear of job status.  Others find it hard to identify with some of their friends during this time as they may feel less than pretty depending on treatments, sleep deprivation, etc.  I would recommend sending posted note to them to let them know you really care and when they are ready to reconnect to let you know as you are still here.  You can offer to drop off food or run errands and will drop them by without coming.  It lets them know want to be supportive but not intrusive.  Some are just so overwhelmed they don't have the energy for relationships.  You can also send a follow-up note a month or two later, offering support in any way that works for them.  By then they may be open to you.  Sometimes, even a "thinking of you" kind of card will help them without the need to communicate if they are still not ready.  Over all these years, I've only experienced being dropped completely when someone else experiences cancer.  When I have first diagnosed, it was a whole different story.  I lived near a small town where a lot of people know each other.  I had 2 people who if they saw me walking toward them on the sidewalk, they would immediately cross the street and walk on the other side!  In the 90's many people thought they could "catch" cancer from you.  My best advice, is to let it go...you don't want a negative thinking person around you anyway!  For others, it evokes feelings about how they might handle a cancer diagnosis and they can't deal with that "what if" so they run.  Let them go.  In the 33 years since my first dx, and 27 years since 2nd dx (hopefully the last!) I have found a ratio of probably 1,000 to 1 good people!  Some people just aren't born with enough empathy to be sympathetic to others.  I feel very sad for them.  A cancer diagnosis many times let you realize just who is a real friend vs a shallow person.  There are plenty of us survivors that are willing to step in to help!!!  Just let us know!!!