Supporting from distance

I found out about my mom's diagnosis when I was working at summer camp right before I left for college. I knew my mom was about to go through a battle that was both physically and emotionally grueling, but none of it happened in my world. I heard about her diagnosis on FaceTime and watched her ring her Survivor's Bell in a video sent in our family groupchat (and I missed about every test, radiation session, and surgery in between). This was the fight of my mom's lifetime, and I watched it through a phone screen in my freshman dorm room.

That being said, I was still there for my mom. And she could feel it. Telling someone that you love them, care for them, miss them, want the best for them, or telling them anything at all, can make a difference. I couldn't hug my mom, but I had words and I had love, and it was enough to help the both of us. 

I always knew that my family and I would still be family when we had spread ourselves across the country. I just didn't expect to be able to do family things, to be what family needed to be, with all of that space in between. I was happy to be surprised. I watched as every level of family found ways to help our mom, our wife, our daughter, our sister in-law; whatever the relation was, it was family and it mattered.

I definitely felt like I could be my mother's son, even if I was doing it through that phone screen. She would tell me that my calls were the best part of her day, and that she missed her Bubba. One day, a few months into college, she told me that she hadn't washed her car since I left home because I left a full handprint on one of the windows; the dust had collected on the handprint, and my handprint was now made visible by a collection of dead skin cells and dirt. It's possible to find ways to love someone who isn't physically there.

TLDR: WHATEVER YOU CAN DO, DO IT. FaceTime, call, text, letters, sending Tiktok's, anything. It's not easy being away, but you can and will make do. Family is stronger than distance.